I went to see Mother’s new consultant at the hospital yesterday morning.

I’ve never had a conversation like it. It was one of those very rare occasions when your life stops a moment, allows you to vomit, and then continues – only on a different track.

It’s only me and her at home at the moment and I look across at her scowling at Graham Norton and tears line up on the rims of my eyes and… I can’t look at her, I can’t.

I have to pull myself together and think straight. I have to make decisions for her and for me. Things have changed.